Trapped

I just wanted to share a poem that I wrote a few months ago. A lot of times I feel alone in the things that I am going through, like I'm the only one going through it. But I'm not, I'm sure other people are feeling this way, so this poem is for those people. You are not alone in this!

Trapped
Trapped.
That's how I've always felt.
Behind closed lips that will never tell how I truly feel.
Because they can't.
The truth is locked up in chains and hidden behind solid cement walls that my lips can't break through.
But my hand and my pen can loosen the chains just enough for the
Truth to pass through.
The truth is...since he told me
I feel like nothing.
Because to me 
he said, "You're worth nothing to me, they are."
I feel ugly.
Because to me 
he said, "They are prettier than you."
I feel unlovable.
Because while he said "I love you" to me, he was looking at them.
All I can think is that he didn't love me, he didn't think I was worth anything, he didn't think I was pretty
So why should anyone else?
Anxiety binds these feelings and holds them captive behind my lips.
If I try to speak of them Anxiety closes my throat,
Makes me sick and makes me shake...
Sometimes uncontrollably.
Anything Anxiety can do to keep my lips sealed.
And when my lips do speak of these feelings a breakdown is sure to come.
Anxiety protects me from those breakdowns
While also ruining and controlling my life.
A trade off that I can no longer bear.
So my hand has broken through
In hopes that someone
Anyone
Might free my lips.

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