Posts

Boasting in Weakness

This semester I have had to make some very painful decisions but the lessons that the Lord is teaching me are ones that I will not forget. I have made the decision to continue my education through Moody Distance Learning and will be moving home on May 8th and will have my last day of work in the Academic Records Department on May 12th. I will graduate in December 2019 with my BS in Ministry Leadership with Women's Ministry Emphasis, which is basically the online version of my current BA in Ministry to Women Interdisciplinary (Pastoral Studies) degree. Every time I have told someone this decision I am met with a "Wait! Really? But I thought you loved Moody." And the answer is yes, I do love Moody, however, for several years I have neglected my mental health and it has caught up to me. In my two years at Moody, I have struggled deeply with anxiety, which was not new to me, but the intensity was. I would start out the semesters with so much fear of failure that I would b...
Post a Comment
Read more

In the Depths of Indifference

As the deer pants for streams of water,       so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.      When can I go and meet with God? Psalm 42:1-2 Lord, my soul doesn't pant for You (Psalm 42:1). I don't long for You, I don't yearn for You. I'm indifferent. I'm indifferent toward You, who sent your Son to live the perfect life that I couldn't (John 1:14; 1 John 3:5; 2 Corinthians 5:21). I'm indifferent about You, Jesus, who was whipped, beaten, stripped naked, led on parade to death on the most brutal device that evil hearts could conceive, the crucifix (John 19; Mark15:16-32). And you hung there broken, bleeding, thirsty (John 19:28), gasping for air. You asked Your Father to forgive those who mocked You (Luke 23:34)...and I'm sure that there were some in the crowd who were indifferent to what was happening to You. And, Lord, that's me. I'm standing at the foot of Your cross knowing that you are paying ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Storms of Life

    This summer I set out to write more often but I've been avoiding it. I like to write honestly and be vulnerable; I never want to be putting on a show of perfection for Fourteen Two because I feel like that completely defeats its purpose. In the spirit of honesty and vulnerability, I knew that the first thing I would need to write about was my break-up and how I handled, and failed to handle, it. So I've been avoiding writing this because any time that I put something on paper it makes it tangible and real; things that were once black and white and blurry all of a sudden become vibrant and in full color once the pen hits the page. But now that I am almost 6 months into this new season of my life I think it's time to let the walls come down.      I've titled this piece The Storms of Life because my first semester at Moody was just that, a storm. In the beginning was the calm, things were great in my relationship and I was finally getting to follow the Lord's...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Little Something about Shoes

Image
     Shoes. They come in all shapes, sizes, styles, and comfort levels. Some guys somehow live on only one pair of shoes, while us girls sometimes can't  live without at least 10 pairs. We choose different shoes based on our outfits, the weather, how comfortable we want to be, or just by what our favorites are. For me. I have 4 basic "go-to"s, my riding boots, combat boots, my knock-off Vans, or moccasins. They are all cute, comfortable and one of the four of them go with every outfit I own. And then there is my favorite type of shoes that unfortunately cannot be worn all year round here in the Midwest..flip flops! Seriously guys, I need to live somewhere warm so I can wear them everyday.      Okay, so obviously I'm not writing this to talk about shoe fashion, and if I was this post would be a disaster. I'm writing this because last week at work one of my co-workers and I were filing papers, a tedious and boring task, and he was telling me how one of ...
Post a Comment
Read more

from Thirteen to Eternity

Image
     Say "Hello" to little 13 year old me. Besides a few acne problems she looks like she has it all together doesn't she? That's exactly what I wanted everyone to think of me. I was a straight A student who cried if she got anything below a 93%, I was a personal therapist to my friends, I was known for always smiling, and I was an all-around people-pleaser. I defined myself by those things and I was in constant fear of falling short of the expectations that myself and others had set for me. Most of this fear came from my "best friend" of 11 years who was mentally and physically abusive.  This friend of mine had gained so much control in my life by the time I had turned 12 that I had no idea what I actually liked and disliked. Most of the time I was just confused and I felt lost; however, I was too afraid to find out my actual likes and dislikes because that could have displeased my friend. It was also around this time that most of my self-worth came from w...
Post a Comment
Read more

On My Heart

Image
Hi guys, long time, no see. Honestly I've been wanting to write a blog post for quite some time now but every time I sit down to write it the words just don't seem to come. I've been praying about it and the problem has been that the things I've wanted to say have not been helpful and probably would have turned into a rant and that's not what this blog is about. So hopefully soon I will have an actual post about self-worth up, I've been doing a lot of praying about it lately. Anyway today I just wanted to post about something that has been on my heart. Some of you may know that I have been sponsoring a little girl from El Salvador named Idalia Marisol for a year and 8 months through World Vision. It has definitely blessed me and has opened my eyes to the poverty in this world. When I worked for Family Christian, who closely partnered with World Vision, I saw sweet little faces on the packets in our store and desperately wanted to see all of them sponsored. Eve...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Lines on My Wrists

Image
     So from December 15th to December 20th you may notice something different about me. On both of my wrists you will see different colored lines drawn in Sharpie. Each color holds its own meaning and each wrist holds it's own meaning as well. Obviously I'm not doing this just for fun otherwise I wouldn't be writing it in my blog.      This year I am participating in The Lines Project!      This is to show support for people struggling with depression, anxiety, self harm, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, etc. And also to let them know that they aren't alone. I am a big supporter of mental health awareness and I really like these different projects that bring about awareness and support in creative ways. Right Wrist- Showing my support      So how do you participate you ask? Well you draw about 6 lines on your wrist from Dec. 15- 20. Draw them on your right wrist if you are a supporter and draw them on your left wris...
2 comments
Read more