Fourteen Two

     Shoes. They come in all shapes, sizes, styles, and comfort levels. Some guys somehow live on only one pair of shoes, while us girls sometimes can't  live without at least 10 pairs. We choose different shoes based on our outfits, the weather, how comfortable we want to be, or just by what our favorites are. For me. I have 4 basic "go-to"s, my riding boots, combat boots, my knock-off Vans, or moccasins. They are all cute, comfortable and one of the four of them go with every outfit I own. And then there is my favorite type of shoes that unfortunately cannot be worn all year round here in the Midwest..flip flops! Seriously guys, I need to live somewhere warm so I can wear them everyday.      Okay, so obviously I'm not writing this to talk about shoe fashion, and if I was this post would be a disaster. I'm writing this because last week at work one of my co-workers and I were filing papers, a tedious and boring task, and he was telling me how one of ...

     Say "Hello" to little 13 year old me. Besides a few acne problems she looks like she has it all together doesn't she? That's exactly what I wanted everyone to think of me. I was a straight A student who cried if she got anything below a 93%, I was a personal therapist to my friends, I was known for always smiling, and I was an all-around people-pleaser. I defined myself by those things and I was in constant fear of falling short of the expectations that myself and others had set for me. Most of this fear came from my "best friend" of 11 years who was mentally and physically abusive.  This friend of mine had gained so much control in my life by the time I had turned 12 that I had no idea what I actually liked and disliked. Most of the time I was just confused and I felt lost; however, I was too afraid to find out my actual likes and dislikes because that could have displeased my friend. It was also around this time that most of my self-worth came from w...

Hi guys, long time, no see. Honestly I've been wanting to write a blog post for quite some time now but every time I sit down to write it the words just don't seem to come. I've been praying about it and the problem has been that the things I've wanted to say have not been helpful and probably would have turned into a rant and that's not what this blog is about. So hopefully soon I will have an actual post about self-worth up, I've been doing a lot of praying about it lately. Anyway today I just wanted to post about something that has been on my heart. Some of you may know that I have been sponsoring a little girl from El Salvador named Idalia Marisol for a year and 8 months through World Vision. It has definitely blessed me and has opened my eyes to the poverty in this world. When I worked for Family Christian, who closely partnered with World Vision, I saw sweet little faces on the packets in our store and desperately wanted to see all of them sponsored. Eve...

     So from December 15th to December 20th you may notice something different about me. On both of my wrists you will see different colored lines drawn in Sharpie. Each color holds its own meaning and each wrist holds it's own meaning as well. Obviously I'm not doing this just for fun otherwise I wouldn't be writing it in my blog.      This year I am participating in The Lines Project!      This is to show support for people struggling with depression, anxiety, self harm, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, etc. And also to let them know that they aren't alone. I am a big supporter of mental health awareness and I really like these different projects that bring about awareness and support in creative ways. Right Wrist- Showing my support      So how do you participate you ask? Well you draw about 6 lines on your wrist from Dec. 15- 20. Draw them on your right wrist if you are a supporter and draw them on your left wris...

     " Here I am, Lord, send me/  I won't look back ‘cause I was made/  To be a part of the impossible/  You're God of the impossible/  Here I am, Lord, send me/  I won't back down ‘cause I believe/  You are the God of the impossible / Here I am, send me!"            God has truly shown the Ignite Youth Ministry that He is the God of the impossible. The things that have happened in the past 2 weeks could not have happened in our own strength. We prayed and relied on God to make incredible things happen and He did! Let me tell you just what my awesome God did!      Well September 3rd and 4th I had the opportunity to share my testimony with the Jr and Sr High. As the Creative team was preparing for MessFest I was thinking about how it would be EXACTLY 6 years since I trusted Jesus as my Savior at Fight Night on Wednesday, September 3, 2008 and I just asked if I could share my testimony. As soon as...

     You know that game "Never Have I Ever"? My friends and I sometimes play it on long youth trips when we are in the car for hours. It was always kept simple and light. But what if we talked about serious things while playing this game?      Well one of the things I could have said was "Never have I ever looked in a mirror without having make-up on and my hair done and had positive thoughts about myself." Never in my entire life. If I don't have make-up on and if my hair isn't done all of the negative thoughts and feelings about myself come out. But tonight is different.      Tonight I looked in the mirror and my face was make-up free and my hair was in a really messy, unruly braid and not one negative thought or feeling. Not ONE! Not for one second did I think that I was ugly or worthless! Not for one split second. THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE!!!!!!!!      I pray everyday for God to give me even a tiny glimpse of wha...

    This time last year B and I were talking about dating for the second time that summer (the full story can be found in my first post, "The Start of A Journey" from April). Actually at the youth group's Six Flags trip I was texting him and flirting and talking about dating the entire trip. I was very sneaky about it so none of my friends saw, I knew they would disapprove. It's funny how much can change in the span of a year.     I wanted to post an update about what happened with this whole B situation, sort of like a sequel to "The Start of A Journey." Like I said in my first post, this is so that at least one person who could be going through a similar situation can be helped. This is by far the most difficult situation I have ever dealt with in my entire life, and I can't be the only person on the face of the earth to go through this. So if you are reading this and you have had someone blame a porn addiction (or something else out of your control) ...